Why Friends Matter In Career Matters

May 06, 2022

The past few days I’ve spent concentrated time with friends from earlier in my life, many I had not seen for years. The primary intention of the meeting was talking about career matters. You might think—what a great opportunity! Yeah, but I have to confess: I thought about skipping this meeting of friends. Lame excuses really: I’m busy right now, the travel was expensive, I have important things I should be doing. But the real reason, honestly, I’m not one to open up easily to friends. Vulnerability is not my strong suit. I’m afraid. I’m afraid of rejection—maybe they’ll think my ideas are lame, my intentions less than honorable—maybe they’ll realize I’m an imposter. Maybe they wont help much at all.

Yet we picked up conversation as if we had talked last just yesterday. These friends care about me—I could feel the warmth in their voices and the kindness in their actions. These friends asked me tough questions about my values and my interests, my intentions and my motives. These friends truly listened, and I listened to them. Many offered ideas and advice; one or two called me on a point or two. My friends were vulnerable with me about their own careers, which allowed me to open my heart them. It wasn’t always comfortable, I feel renewed, re-energized, refreshed. And I feel accepted and more confident that I can do “this” with their help.

That’s what friends do. They know you, they want you to be happy, and they want your life to have the meaning that you want it to have.

If you’re struggling with career questions, who will you go to? A career coach is a good idea (subtle plug for my business), but it’s your friends who know and love you. Be vulnerable: share your anxieties, your needs, your concerns. Friends will lift you up, offer insight others can’t, challenge you differently than parents might, and offer to help. That’s why friends matter.