You're Afraid (and How It Just Might Help Your Job Search)

As you may have read, I’m traveling across country for ten weeks, as my “transition” from one realm of work to another (retirement just didn’t seem to work for me). This week we drove from the Mohave Dessert into Sequoia National Park. Wow. It’s amazing. But let me tell you—the drive in scared the sh$# out of me—so much so that Sally (my partner-in-life) had to drive. We drove 15 miles on a cliff—I was literally scared out of my mind. When I moved to the passenger seat, I still hugged the truck console.

Okay, you can stop laughing. I’ve never been afraid of much before, certainly not heights. But now this fear grips me.

I remember a similar fear when I transitioned from a twenty-year career in consumer products to a new life running the UVA Darden Career Center. One of man’s central fears is fear of failure. Yes, I had that. Another is fear of rejection—a bit harder for me to grapple with. What would others think of my career change? What would these students think? What would the faculty think? Would they accept me?

A friend and mentor, James Clawson, taught me many years later how significant this fear of rejection is and can influence your decisions.

What are you fearing as you consider your future direction? Are you afraid of failure? Might they find out your are an imposter? Or are you afraid of rejection—might they not like you the way your friends do?

Fear is real. Fear in a job search is very real. So what have I done this week to face my fear? Well, I tried to hike to the top of a look-out tower overlooking the Ozark Mountains. I made it halfway, and turned around. $1 wasted. When my wife and friends completed it and went to lunch, I tried it again, for another $1. I didn’t make it. It was windy, the stairs were narrow. The tower was swaying—okay, lets just say I chickened out. Then we drove to Sequoia. I started the drive. I had to pull over and let Sally drive. Two major “fear of heights” failures in a week. But, in the park, I tried again. Took the 800 step climb to Moro Rock at 6725 feet, overlooking King’s Canyon. Wow! The payoff was amazing. And then I drove from our campground to another hike. Around curves, with cliffs. Scared me. But I did it.

Making networking calls and asking for informational interviews is nothing to be scared of, right? NOT FOR ME! As I start my new business coaching students and young professionals, I have been so hesitant (and afraid) to reach out to family, friends and, especially, former professionals that I’ve had the privilege of working with in the past. Why? I’m afraid. I’m afraid they’ll be offended, they’ll be inconvenienced, they’ll reject me.

But they haven’t, so far. Many have taken my call. Many have embraced my new direction. Many have given me leads and directions for me to consider.

But the fear is actually helpful. For me, it becomes a challenge. Something I must conquer. It causes me to prepare more. It helps me focus more. To do it, I have to plan and set small goals to get started. But I do it.

So, be afraid. It’s okay. But do it anyway. Connect with others. Reach out, even if you don’t hear anything for days/weeks. Put yourself out there.

I have so much more to say on the subject of networking/informational interviewing. More to come, if I get over my fear of rejection.